Just Let Everything Out

1.) wake up tired
2.) go to school
3.) rush back from school
4.) do a ton of homework
5.) gears of war.

fin.

It’s not that I don’t care. It’s I dont know what to do. Don’t assume, I dont give a shit when you dont wanna talk to me. What do I do? Hm? I ain’t no fucking mind-reader. You want me to leave you alone right? To not talk to you right? No? Then don’t fucking tell me you don’t want to talk to me when you want me to try and show that I care, it’s fucking confusing and I don’t know what to do. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?

I just wanna cry..sigh.

Hai, im back, i actually wrote mancave first, but i wanted to discuss differences before this, so i went and did that. now for mancaves!

DISCLAIMER: I’ma dude and this is coming from a guys perspective, if there’s something you dont agree with or you have questions about, hit me up on facebook or however you can and ill make sure to consider your opinion, n ill answer any questions you have.

I learned this concept from a book called “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus” by john gray its basically a book for girls about how to better communication in their relationship. Yes, i read this book. Dont judge. I’m just typing what i know, no plagurism intended. It’s a great book, check it out a local bookstore or you can ask me and ill lend it to you.

A mancave is a place where a man is safe, alone, secure. No! it is not a room where he and all his buddies hang out, play games, eat tons of food, party, and dont allow females. A mancave is where every guy goes when he needs time to himself. I go there when im overly stressed, when i want to be alone, when i wanna go do my own thing. You must now be thinking AHH! that’s where he goes whenever hes not talking to me, or when he says hes taking a nap. nope, a mancave isnt actually a real place you can go or visit.

A mancave is metaphorical, comprende? He could be sitting in his living room, watching tv and be in the cave. In the book, it talked about it also being known as the dragons den. How many times would you have asked a guy (or it could be a girl, in that case a “womancave” lol) a question, like how was your day, or you start telling him about your day and he/she completely blows you off? gives a rude response? or something of that sort when they’re normal very receptive, loving and caring. They didnt just randomly become “rude”, you just got burned by the dragon as you intruded in the den. BURRRN, jk. It;s not a fun experience, and more than like;y it will lead into a heated discussion with both sides becoming even angerier with each other when..NOTHING happened at all..cept a bad response from the guy/girl lol. But that is why we need to understand the concept of the man/woman cave.

So when a dude is in his cave, no matter how tempted you are to fish him out so you can talk, or understand why hes in there, you’ll only get burned by the dragon. Just let him be for a little bit, and when he’s out, you WILL notice the difference. when hes out he’ll be more relaxed, he’ll converse quietly easily, he’ll listen and be the loving, caring person you know, but if hes inthe cave..frustration arises so much easier, angery conversations are an immediate side-effect. Dont just ditch him though, be there for him and be understanding, everybody goes through a down period. Also, dont be mad if he talks to other friends, friends are there to make life cheery and fun, thats why they’re friends, not saying you dontmake his life cheery and fun, its just being a boyfriend/girlfriend is a whole lot different than people who are just friends. Like when i need my me time, i like to play games with the homies, xbox or pc, it dont matter, its just plain fun and relaxing. I can talk to my friends in a way i shouldnt be talking to my girl lol, or else she will be veryyyyy mad. i mean, i can joke, cuss, say stuff i wouldnt normally say. If i treated my girl as if she was one of the homies, then she would just be a female homie, not MY girl, so the difference doesnt exclude her, it makes her special, unique.

Main point? Be supportive when your other is in their cave, man or womancave. intruding will only lead to arguements and frustration. Not a good time at all. If you get burned, i hope you learn not to intrude into the dragons den, just patiently wait til they’re ready to come out..also, dont rush em out, they’ll just go right back in.

Why are they in their cave? People have various reasons for doing so, failure at work, over-whelmed by something, school maybe. life is especially hard, lost of a loved one, the list is limitless. be gentle.

I’m in my cave atm..everything sucks:\

PROLOGUE: Im no good at relationships, that doesnt mean im going to give up on them. i love my girlfriend dearly and im tired of us fighting because we dont understand each other, we do things the other doesnt like, we have habits that rnt good for the relationship, the list goes on. I really love her and I want to become a better boyfriend. Everybody has their way to do things, and im going to do that this way. Publicly announcing what i think and how i can work on specific things, this way, i can learn to be better, she can also learn to be better, and others can learn to be better too, because we all are learning and theres no shame in that. so why not learn together?

DISCLAIMER: I’ma dude, this comes from a guys perspective, If i say something you dont agree with, just tell me, hit me up on facebook, tumblr, etc and politely say how you feel and think and ill make sure your voice is heard. i just started this and nobody follows me on tumblr, so..what 5 ppl will read this? lol ill follow more people so they follow me, and hopefully they’ll like what I say, if you like what you read, please reblog and spread.

For Girls, About Guys is something i just made up right now, if theres a book with that title..i wont be surprised but i didnt copy it. When I think theres something I feel that girls should know about guys..ill post it here. it may help, it may not help, it may confuse you, but remember ladies..or dudes. its about guys. And if i got a guy reading this, well, mayb it can help you explain yourself to your girl or show this to her. Also, excuse my grammer, puncuation, etc. im just freely writing

Guys and girls, males and females, are extremely different! Guys are..tough, stubborn, assholes, they dont talk about feelings much, they fix EVERYTHING even if its an issue that doesnt need to be fix, just heard, etc and in my opinion very stupid -_-. On the other hand, girls are lovely, nice, love to talk bout everything, feelings and what not, but beware, if angered a side comes out nobody wants to see.

Those who are in relationships need to understand that guys and girls are very different, the mindsets are soo different, the attitudes towards a lot of things are different, its as if we’re entirely different species mixed. (my bio teacher would kill me if i said that, to appease her..we are of the same species just with very different thought processes). If you thought about it..theres like a line that divides guys and girls into two areas, guys here, and girls here. we have some similarities, thats because we’re humans lol.

Its a simple concept, why do we fight? its not just a difference of opinion, its a difference of who we are, how we think things, how we process things, how we hear and understand things. Guys are usually very direct, we’re not that into words where we have elaborate underlying implied meanings in our sentences..no, if i said i like chocolate ice cream, dont automatically assume i like everything thats chocolate or i dislike everything non-chocolate, it just means, i like chocolate flavored ice cream. Guys usually say whatever is at the top of their heads without thinking too and do things that is usually backed up with ZERO reasoning. That doesnt mean all guys are inconsiderate assholes, that goes more along a difference of personalities among individuals.

This may not be as informative as i would like, but the main point is, guys and girls are different. so ladies, next time your guys says something that pissed you the fuck off, and you just wanna chop off his cha-wang. First ask him, what did you mean by that? Because more than likely, what he said, and how you interpretted it, will be really different. Just doing something as simple as that can stop a night of arguments because of a single misunderstanding. so people, please be understanding to your boo, because your boo aint you, and cant read your mind..unless they’re psychic O_o. lol LOVE AND PEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEE..out v^.^v

My definition and uses of the word shit:
i feel like shit: i feel really bad
what a shitty job you did: you did horrible
it smells like shit: it smell really bad, or it smells like poop.
everythings shitty: everythings bad.

As we can see, shit, to me, basically means “bad”, “horrible” and occationally, “poop”

Now, the rant.

I wake up every morning to a strange pain inside my chest, when i sit up its like a knife goes from my throat down my chest. idk wtf it is, it’s extremely painful, but the pain subsides. I wake up every morning to a drive to school, first thing is the worst, calculus. I DREAD THAT CLASS. my fucking teacher tells us, if we cant do something then we shouldnt be in that class..i cant do half the shit they do in there, so does that mean i dont belong in that class? Why the fuck was i placed in there then? Excuse you math teacher, I’m in there so i can learn my fucking math and move on. Next class in bio, i love my science, and bio is my favorite. Excuse me bio teacher, for i love this class, so please dont yell at me for using A CORRECT term, but not THE CORRECT term. Also, excuse me for trying to answer when the class is filled with either smart-ass people, or fucking dumbasses that BOTH won’t man/woman up and answer a simle question…My day goes on..English. no complaint. Econ, no complaint. yay schools fucking over.

Everyday I either pale or brighten as I do my calc homework, the feeling of doing it right, understanding it and finishing is an accomplishment indeed. Sometimes..no, MOST times im lost and i dont know what to do, my mathematical abilities are way lower than required. I wish i had better teachers for geometry and algebra II. I wish i tried harder. I wish I was better at math. i like it, i just find it hard to do.

Now with school out of the way..
I’m stressed, i have NOTHING to be stressed about, but im a lot more stressed than i’d admit. It’s a conflicting feeling when i FEEL so over-whelmed by a tide so huge, ill drown, but reality is, its such a miniscule thing, all i need to do is step over the obstacle. I find this so hard..I find it hard to try 24/7..i find it hard to try 110% in everything i need to do..I’m TRYING my best..but i get yelled at for my petty attempts…” u shouldnt be in this class” ” NO, NEVER USE THAT TERM IN MY CLASSROOM BECAUSE THATS INCORRECT, U’RE WRONG AND I BLAME UR EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND” … T.T i said survival of the fittest = those who are most fit to live in their environment will survive T.T..not those who are the strongest or can produce the most babies will..u mofo, auto-assuming female dog. the answer was natural selection. and natural selection is those who are most fit to survive in their environment will survive and reproduce T.T…merp >:[ and my last one ” It’s a cycle, you try then dont try anymore” can u not jump to a conclusion for once and just talk to me so we both come to an understanding with the same conclusion..communication is important, dont insult me trying to find ways for us to communicate better without the other getting hurt or thinking something completely different, and yes. You did insult my efforts of looking for a way to communicate better, in the past.

I’m only 18 and i have too many things i already regret. a person told me you cant regret something that you wanted to do. i did not want to fail geometry and relearn it in summer school, i did not want to have a SHITTY(bad) teacher for my math classes. I didnt want to fail. i didnt want to hurt anybody, i did not want to give anybody a bad impression. theres so much i regret, but im not allowed to regret it? bullocks. Everybody regrets. they regret doing things. wanting to or not, they can regret it. I regret way to much, but will sitting around being sad, getting yelled at for it over and over, telling myself im a horde of condescending words and demaning myself..All of which are pointless, you can only learn from the experience, the regret, and to become a better person, to better yourselve and in individual.

My life is just shitty because everywhere I go, no matter what i do, its no longer enough and I HAVE TO TRY HARDER. its not that i dont want to,its just..its hard to, but nobody understands that. i dont blame them either because i i just tend to keep all my emotions and feelings bottled up now. I give this “idgaf” demeanor, and people really think that i dont give a fuckk. lol, truth is, it does, it hurts, thats why im so restless, why i talk back, why i do the things i do now, im just so stressed.

will never happen

I’m not allowed to regret? thats stupid. i regret everything..im so sad..but its what i deserve

TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU